The older I get, the more I realize that there are some things that you can’t leave in the past. You have to deal with those things in order to move forward. At that point, those issues are still a part of who you are, and they will always be with you. You learn coping skills that help you move forward, but there is often not a solution.
Right after we married, my husband and I moved to a state that I had never lived in before. I did not know anyone there. I was still very unfamiliar with his family. It was culture shock for me to live in a different region of the country. I also had a number of abandonment and attachment issues. I know now what those terms mean, but I didn’t recognize these issues then. I did not want my husband to do ANY activities without me. The only word I can use to describe what would happen before he would leave is a tantrum. I would cry and pick fights and have a lot of anxiety about being without him. I had to know where he was going to be and when he would be home. I was really upset if he didn’t answer my calls or showed up late. I never thought he was doing anything inappropriate. I just had to know where he was and when he would be back. I will say that while he was confused about my behavior, he was very kind and gentle to me. He didn’t leave me very often and has always been very loving and long suffering with the challenges I have faced.
So what was wrong?
It is a real thing that many children and adults struggle to overcome. Please peek at the following links. If you or someone you know are suffering from separation anxiety, please get help!