31 Days of Thoughts. Day 9.

I was always told that mainstream music was awful and sinful. I have probably heard hundreds of sermons on “wrong” music. The only music that was generally approved of would be hymns, particular Christian groups that were from like minded churches and SOME instrumental or classical music. Drums and guitars and other specific instruments are all sinful as was any music with any type of heathenish beat. 

I know I missed out. I missed out on how to truly differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate music. I was never exposed to a variety of music, lessons, singing, culture or art in any form. I have never been to a concert any bigger than hearing music at a fair. I don’t have a huge attachment to music from my teen years, and I think that part does sadden me. I think familiar music from my past might help clarify some of the events that I would like to remember more clearly. (Remember, I suffer from PTSD and have trouble with memory)

So now music means a lot to me. I am going to take piano lessons. I am going to take singing lessons. I don’t have any false hopes that I will be good at either, but I would like to try. Trying new things feels like freedom to me. 

I also listen to whatever I want. One new song that Katy Perry has released has really touched me. I imagine that if I ever see a particular individual that made my childhood a living hell, I am going to remember this song. I am not ever going to let anyone else do to me and make me feel the way that this person did. I will die trying to make sure that no one makes my children feel the way that I felt when I was a child. ROAR. 

 

“Roar”

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up 
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up 
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up 
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “31 Days of Thoughts. Day 9.

  1. yeah I think they are traveling evangelists. not sure what denomination. but I have heard Katy speak about her parents and it would seem she had a similar upbringing to me in some ways. Very strict with what I would call spiritual abuse.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s